Thursday, April 30, 2009

Blood.

So I gots a funny story to tell.

Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived a girl.
She was a happy girl who had a very good life and was healthy and loved to eat Goldfish.
All of her short 16 years of life, she had been deathly afraid of any kind of sharp/pokey object like needles.
One fateful day, the girl made the decision to conquer her fears of the N-word and participate in the Red Cross blood drive at school.
This seemed too be a wonderful idea at the time, because she was going to save a life, And get a free T-shirt!
The days flew by and all of a sudden she woke up one morning and realized that the day had arrived. The girl was only a little bit nervous and decided that the best way to do it was to not look and the mess that would be happening to her arm.
So she got out of Geometry early, and proceeded towards the gym with a positive outlook on the upcoming experience!
She arrived, and registered and waited patiently in line for her interview to make sure her blood was safe to donate.
And that was when problem numero uno occured.
Her parental consent form had vanished. The girl and the HOSA teacher searched high and low for it, and after not being able to find it, they settled on calling the girl's mother to run all the way up to the school and sign a piece of paper.
For a second the girl almost gave up and decided that it would not be worth the time, but NOOO. she had to go on and do it. She was saving a life and recieving a shirt and was getting out of class.
So the Mother was called and drove up to the school and gave her consent and then left to go to Kroger.
The girl returned back to the gym and proceeded to wait in line for her turn.
Questions such as "Have you ever been to Africa" and "Have you ever had blah blah disease" were answered and the brave girl was escorted to her little cot for the taking of the blood.
This was when she started to get nervous and was shaking a little bit, but kept telling herself that it would only hurt for a split second and then it was over!
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Little Miss Rude Nurse Lady was having trouble locating the girl's veins. She tried 3 times in one arm to find it and then switched to the other arm and found one little teensy vein.
Iodine was applied and then suddenly a piercing pain was sent through the inside of the girls elbow. (What is that part of the body called?)
The N-word was in place....or so she thought.
All of a sudden, the girl's poor little arm was being jabbed at and pressed down on with great force and Nurse Impatient and Nurse Moody had joined Nurse Rude in observing and question the girls ability to donate blood.
The young girl wsa staring to feel lightheaded and dizzy and the pain of all the poking in and out of the N-word was too much to bear.
She Cried.
In front of all the teachers and students and parents who were not at all affected by the process of donating blood.
The poking and pulling stopped and the girl was informed that she would not be able to donate today because her veins were too small and they "did not want to risk nerve damage or bruising."
Stupid...
So the sad little girl was then taken over to the snack bar and was given her slice of pineapple cake and a sprite and cool t-shirt with is 4 sizes too big.
She sat for a few minutes while people walked by her wondering if she had been abused by the nurses or if she was just a baby who could not take the "dinky" pain of the N-word.
The day flew by and the girl returned home with her t-shirt and a sore right arm and watched tv.
She learned from this experience that she is a weakling and wonders how in the world Carlisle Cullen did the whole doctor thing.
No more blood drives for her.
Ever.

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